Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Illustration for article titled The ISON Conspiracy

Hey, Truther.org! I bet you can't come up with a conspiracy theory that incorporates the ISS coolant leak, the death of Nelson Mandela, Comet ISON and Jurassic Park: Extinction!

Oh shit! I should have known better! There it is, the government is working on a man-made Doomsday asteroid.

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David Chase Taylor has presented a long and drawn out argument for a scenario so absurd that most Hollywood studios would laugh him right out of a pitch meeting. The government created ISON to use for a Doomsday strike. Armaggedon and Deep Impact were released to psychologically prepare humanity for a Doomsday strike. The Chelyabinsk asteroid strike was a beta-test. SpaceX is a front for the Doomsday asteroid program. It's all right there in front of us! Why aren't we listening?

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