Why I Am Now Divorced
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel
very well waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning,
let alone ' Happy Birthday.'
I thought.... Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids.... they will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word..
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office,
my beautiful boss Stacy, said,
'Good Morning, Charles, and by the way
Happy Birthday! '
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o'clock ,
when Stacy knocked on my door
and said, 'You know,
It's such a nice day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me..'
I said, 'Thanks, Stacy,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day. Let's go!'
We went to lunch.
But we didn't go where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office,
Stacy said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
I responded, 'I guess not.
What do you have in mind?'
She said, 'Let's drop by my place,
it's just around the corner.'
After arriving at her house,
Stacy turned to me and said,
If you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back.'
'Ok.' I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed by my wife
my kids, and dozens of my friends
and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'.
And I just sat there....
On the couch....