Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

Tony Stark Elon Musk is at it again. He is helping move us to renewable energy. He gets supplies (most of the time) to the International Space Station. He’s almost landed a reusable rocket on a platform in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. He looks at science fiction, and goddamn makes it happen. He made Tesla, and made electric cars awesome (I’m looking at you Chevy VOLT). But what, you might ask, has he done now?

Illustration for article titled The Future is Now

It was recently reported that Tesla would release a firmware update to all Model S’ on the road, adding an “Auto Pilot” mode to allow auto steering on Highways. However, given that right now in the United States that is highly illegal, Musk warned that for now, it will be limited to use on private property. Musk has gone to twitter to explain that a problem they are currently tackling is low-contrast lane markings:


In connection with that upcoming update, Telsa recently released the following video:

Lets talk about what this means (SAVE THE DICK JOKES PEOPLE, WE’RE ADULTS): You might think, “Hey, that’s lazy. Just plug the damn thing in yourself!” But you would be missing the point.

Drive home, and pull up to the front of your house. Get out, and click the button on your key that has a electric bolt symbol. As you walk into your home, the car uses the Auto Pilot mode to park itself in your garage (after sending a signal to the probably soon to be released Tesla Garage Door Adapter that allows communication between your car and the garage, to tell it to open and close the garage door), and plugs itself in for the night.

The next morning, when you need to leave for work, on you’re way out of the house, press the button on your key that looks like a house, and the car automatically unplugs, turns on, exits the garage, and using Auto Pilot, meets you at the curb.


You just saved like 5 minutes of precious time to spend with your kids, spouse, or side piece. The future is now.

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