Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

The Great Steam Summer War of 2014 is now over...

Tell me my dear friends, did you give money to your lord and Saviour Gaben?

Illustration for article titled The Great Steam Summer War of 2014 is now over...

Please, as the steam sale comes to a close, let us recite the the Gaben prayer. Please rest your keys.

And Gabe spake all these words, saying,
I am the Lord thy Gaben,
which have brought thee
out of application of Origin,
out of the house of EA.

I am the lord thy Gaben
Thou shalt have no other platforms before Steam
Thou shalt not make unto thee any "Gaben is fat" jokes
Thou shalt not take the name of Gabe Newell thy Gaben in vain
Remember the holiday sales, to emtieth thy wallet
Honour thy Portal and Half-Life
Thou shalt not commit asshatery
Thou shalt not pirate
Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbour killstreak
Thou shall not convet thy neighbour's games, thou shalt not convet thy neighbour's achievements, nor his hats, nor his DLC, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy steam friend's.
in his name we pray — HL3.

Seriously guys. I spent a sacrilegious amount of money this sale. I only spent about ~200 on me, but for my friends and family, I spent double. I literally do not want to see another sale for a year. I feel a little sick about it, but at least I was able to bring joy to my friends.

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