Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Illustration for article titled The J.J. Verse needs to die.

This guy. Right here.

So there's a comic on the shelf right now called "I, Enterprise," which is the story all about this guy that appeared in approximately two scenes in Star Trek: Into Darkness. The official backstory given for the character, Science Officer 0718, was that he was a humanoid that had cybernetic augmentations and serves as a science officer monitoring the ship's status at all times.


That was fine. I could totally be okay with that.

…But this comic two-parter does what the J.J. 'verse does best: clumsily retcons stuff and completely fucks up the universe it inhabits in the process.


Now, Science Officer 0718 is actually an organic extension of the ship itself, having been granted sentience by a mysterious planet full of nanotechnology and physical form by a bunch of synthetic skin and nanites in sickbay that formed an organic body to house said sentience.

Now, it roams the halls of the Enterprise, a living avatar of the ship, and can do such miraculous things as:


1.) Interact with the ship on a molecular level, rendering it invisible to the human eye.
2.) Interface with the ship in real time to know exactly what is going on in and around it at all times.

This is such. Fucking. Bullshit.

This sort of technology exists in the Andromeda TV series, and is fine there. This sort of technology does not exist in the Star Trek universe. Do you know why this is such an especially shitty thing to do to longtime fans?


It negates the need for human crews and negates Spock's and Data's story arcs, respectively. Now, instead of having the alien who is trying to come to grips with his roiling emotional makeup or the android that only wishes to know what it is to feel at all, (since we've already done those arcs) we just change gears entirely and say, y'know what? Let's make the ship alive! And let's make it very clear to the readers that we don't need human crews at all anymore! The living ship can do it all itself!

This, combined with that transwarp beaming bullshit from the 2009 Trek movie, just means one thing: By the time The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, and Voyager all roll around, there will be no need for humans to go anywhere or do anything. We'll either be able to just beam anywhere in the universe that interests us, or, more likely, we'll all have devolved into the blob people from Wall-E, since our living ships capable of transporting themselves across the universe at the press of a button have now robbed us of any agency we have as a species.



Addendum: Why is he Science Officer 0718? Why does he need such a designation? Why would he not just call himself Enterprise? And if he's going to call himself a science officer, why the hell does his designation need to be so high? Is that like, the total number of science officers in Starfleet? Is it the number of science officers on the Enterprise? Is it just arbitrary and not even fucking thought out at all?

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