Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

Worst to best.

9. Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days

Ugh. What is that? How do you even say that? "Three-hundred-fifty-eight-slash-two days"? "Three-five-eight-over-two days"? Like... What? I don't even know what I'm looking at. What kind of game is this? Is it an edutainment game about improper fractions? Are you supposed to reduce the title to "Kingdom Hearts 179 Days"? Gross.



8. Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance

Ok, look, you didn't need to say what the three "D"'s actually are. I think we'd be ok. So, this game has a lot of dreaming, a lot of dropping, and a lot of distance? I guess that does technically tell me things about the game, and I do know how to pronounce this, so congratulations.



7. Kingdom Hearts: coded

Yeah, I guess this game was technically coded. Why the lowercase "c"? They have capitalization in Japan, right?



6. Kingdom Hearts: Re:coded

I guess they had to recode it. Maybe the lowercase "c" was a bug. At least they remembered the uppercase "R" this time.



5. Kingdom Hearts

Sounds kind of weird. So are there little heart people ruled over by the King and Queen of Hearts? Or is the Kingdom just called "Hearts"? I don't know, man.



4. Kingdom Hearts II

I like roman numerals.


3. Kingdom Hearts III

See above.


2. Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories

This one has always clicked with me. It sounds pretty and poetic, which I think is what they were going for with 3D and 358/2 Days, but I know how to pronounce it, and it doesn't give me a rage aneurysm to read it. It's also just kind of a pretty title. "Chain of Memories." "Chain OF Memories." "CHAIN of MEMORIES." I like it.



1. Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep

This one also just sounds poetic and beautiful. I have no idea what the game is about, but I still just kind of like saying the title. "Birth By Sleep." "BIRTH by SLEEP." "BIRTH BY Sleep."



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