Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Illustration for article titled The Seven Deadly Castaways

Apparently this has been floating around for a long time but I only today encountered the theory that the seven castaways of Gilligan's Island each represented one of the Seven Deadly Sins.

The idea came up when I was reading about the possible upcoming Gilligan's Island movie. The breakdown of the sins as I gleaned from the Internet is like this (though of course you can find different interpretations):

  • The Professor – Pride (because he's a scientist. Yes, that's really the explanation.)
  • Thurston Howell III - Greed (duh)
  • Ginger - Lust (throws herself at men who visit the island)
  • Mary Ann - Envy (of Ginger's looks)
  • Mrs. Lovey Howell - Sloth (never lifts a finger to do anything)
  • The Skipper - Wrath (often directed at Gilligan)
  • Gilligan – Gluttony (eats prodigious amounts of food but never gets fat)

And if you want to further down that rabbit hole, the island was Hell and Gilligan conveniently thwarted several escape attempts, ensuring that the group stayed. Thus Gilligan (who always wore red) was also Satan.


But at least there wasn't a Smoke Monster killing people.

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