Or, Winnie the Woot swears a lot
Quasi Hatrack: I'm using the wok to cook dinner. Tell your mother to get down the special spatula.
I turn to Mrs. Hatrack, who is sitting three feet away from him.
Me: Get down the wok spatula.
Mrs. Hatrack: What's the magic word?
Me: ... bitch.
Later, Mrs. Hatrack gets a leg cramp. She puts her leg back in the same position and it cramps again. Both times I have to help her stretch her cramp out.
Mrs. Hatrack: Apparently that leg doesn't want to bend!
Me: THEN DON'T BEND IT.
Mrs. Hatrack blinks.