Or, Winnie the Woot swears a lot

Quasi Hatrack: I'm using the wok to cook dinner. Tell your mother to get down the special spatula.

I turn to Mrs. Hatrack, who is sitting three feet away from him.

Me: Get down the wok spatula.

Mrs. Hatrack: What's the magic word?

Me: ... bitch.

Later, Mrs. Hatrack gets a leg cramp. She puts her leg back in the same position and it cramps again. Both times I have to help her stretch her cramp out.

Mrs. Hatrack: Apparently that leg doesn't want to bend!

Me: THEN DON'T BEND IT.

Mrs. Hatrack blinks.

Me: DUMBASS.

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