Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

This is my dog Ginger. She is a thief.

Illustration for article titled This is my dog Ginger. She is a thief.

Yeah, she looks innocent enough but don't let her fool you. The Great PB&J Heist of 2002? She was the ring leader. The Key Lime Pie Caper? She was the sole mastermind behind that one and almost got away with it by attempting to frame Scout for the crime.


But now she's outdone herself. I've been fighting off a nasty strain of the flu for several days now and I was given an entire bag of Ricola Honey Lemon cough drops which I put on my nightstand for easy reach from the bed. I left the room for about 20 minutes to run hot water over my achey, inflamed head and returned to find the Ricola bag on the floor and every single cough drop wrapper it contained strewn out from it like a debris field. There wasn't one cough drop left intact. There wasn't even a partial cough drop remaining. She had eaten the entire bag of them.

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