You know what's worse than an erotic book that started out as Twilight fan fiction? An erotic book that started out as Twilight fan fiction with an STD.

Two Belgian professors decided it would be a lark to run toxicology tests on the ten most frequently checked out books at the Antwerp library. Obviously, all ten books tested positive for low levels of cocaine. I for one am glad to see that cocaine users are keeping up on their reading. What was more disturbing was that the book Fifty Shades of Grey tested positive for small amounts of the Herpes virus.

While the amounts of the virus present were too small to be of any danger to the public, that is disgusting none the less. What are people doing with books these days? Don't they have the internet in Belgium? Okay, I Binged it. They do.