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This needs to be the next Die Hard movie.

I just saw the Commercial for White House Down. It should have been a Die Hard movie. And it should have played out like this.

Full disclosure, I haven't seen the last Die Hard movie, so I have no idea how it ends.


Ok, Here Goes.

John McClane is at the White House to receive a very public award for civilian service to his country. Accompanying John and presenting the award to him is the elderly nun who was his grade school gym teacher who he credits with straightening him out when he was a troubled youth and putting him on the path to becoming a police officer. She is Sister Timothy Titus and she is old. really OLD, but she is still spry.


Anyway, before the ceremony, the White House is attacked by TERRORISTS! and the president is taken hostage. It's up to John and Sister TT (the kids nicknamed her Sister Tough Titties) to battle the terrorists, take back the Oval Office, rescue the President and prevent Certain Nuclear Doom. Sister TT, despite her advanced age is still pretty physically fit and despite her vows pretty good with a firearm. "I took a vow of celibacy, John, not a vow of non-violence."

And of course after a series of victories and setbacks, EXPLOSIONS, broken glass, bleeding feet, gun battles, fires, MORE EXSPLOSIONS, and a missing tooth, John and Sister TT succeed.


And the title of the film?


Illustration for article titled This needs to be the next Die Hard movie.

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