Okay, its not the actual video itself (although i reccomend you watch it, its pretty awesome)

I found an old external HD this morning and i've been going through it all day. One of the first things i found was a bunch of CGI shorts I downloaded and kept; Rockfish being one of them.

But then I started digging deeper and things got weird.

Some of the stuff I saved/did nearly ten years ago is horrifying and fascinating in equal measure. In some respects, its like looking at a complete stranger. Things i had forgotten. Things I had intended to do but never gotten around to...

The CGI thing is kinda bittersweet because I really wanted to get into games animation when i left Uni but I had made a couple of bad choices and some decisions never swung my way and things never panned out... nowadays, its scar tissue, ancient history.

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But looking at those videos i had saved...the videos I had created... I can totally see the passion and intensity I had for the subject. I can totally recognize the thought patterns and emotions behind every note, design and sketch but I can't actually remember any of it per se.

Its almost disturbing.

I found a 'digital diary' of sorts. A word document, really, nothing special. It only goes on for about 7-8 months... I was humoring my girlfriend of the time, she had a thing about diaries. Hard reading that. Uncomfortable as hell. I didn't realise just how much I actually revealed in the damn thing.

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And on the subject of reading...holy hell... the fanfic! I can't believe how much I was massive O'Neill/Carter Stargate nut. I mean, i've always been a closet romantic, but I've megabytes of the stuff. And the Josh/Donna West Wing fic! Damn...I think i must have downloaded half of Geocities of the stuff. And I think a good portion of that might have been 56k pre-broadband efforts...

I suppose the point of my musings is... its fascinating how I recognize almost all of it but its all so incredibly faded that it almost feels like the life of a different person.

Obviously, I remember the big stuff, breakups, breakdowns, decisions made, the big signpost stuff but they're blips. The day to day stuff.... yeah, the day to day stuff i kinda forgot and looking back at it makes for some intriguing viewing.