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Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
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This Sunblock-Pooping Seagull Drone Reminds Me Of A Joke

Okay, I get the logic. Disguise sunblock as seagull poop and kids will gleefully smear it all over themselves. That’s a perfectly reasonable use of drone technology. But this video also reminded me of a very bad joke that yes, I’ll share with you.


I heard the phoo bird joke over thirty years ago and haven’t thought about it much since then. But I thought of it immediately when I saw this. If you’re not familiar with it here’s a version of it.

Once upon a time in a far away land lived a unique bird known as the phoo bird. People of the land were warned to avoid being shit on by the phoo bird.


One unlucky fellow was walking down a street when phoo bird shit landed on his shoulder with a loud splat. He wiped away the wet mess with a handkerchief then fell to the ground dead.

A week or so later another man walking down the street had phoo bird shit land on him. He wiped it off and immediately fell to the ground dead.


Another week goes by and a third man is walking down the street and phoo bird shit lands right on top of his head. (No, it didn’t occur to anyone to carry an umbrella or otherwise protect themselves.) The man realizes what has happened and resists the urge to wipe off the bird crap. Weeks pass and the man has worn the bird crap on his head the whole time. But the smell is getting to him. He finally can’t stand it and wipes the phoo bird shit from his head. He falls to the ground dead.

The moral of the story is: If the phoo shits, wear it.

(I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waitress; she’s working hard for you.)

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