Tom Scharpling, the host of the late, great Best Show On WFMU, is a proud son of the Garden State. So is bestselling fantasy author and Game of Thrones creator George "Railroad" Martin. So it was only a matter of time before the latter would end up in the former's crosshairs. And Scharpling's 2013 diatribe about "the elf show" that replaced Enlightenment works as both a clueless takedown of GoT and a brilliant metacommentary on how people misinterpret fantasy, as well as inter-fandom strife of all kinds. TONIGHT WE FEAST ON BOAR!!!

*Before you go thinking Scharpling is some sort of jockish troll, keep in mind that Scharpling's geek cred is pretty well-established. He regularly had the likes of Matt Fraction and John Hodgman on his show (including the infamous 4-Loko Christmas Party episode in which Hodgman was forced to assume emergency powers), and voices the dad on Steven Universe. Also his wife has read all the books in ASoIaF.