Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

Thor 2 opening scene

Narrator: Not so long ago, in the mysterious land of New Mexico, Thor was dating a mere mortal....

INTERIOR: ASGARD PALACE

Sif: Thor is dating a mere mortal?

Fandral: Really? Is she hot?

Sif: How old are you now, Thor? Like eight thousand?

Thor: Two. I'm two thousand.

Volstagg: And you're dating a mere mortal? Not bad, not bad.

Thor: Thank you, thank you.

Hogun: So, did you guys, like, "do it" yet?

Thor: We have done many things. We ride the van together and we have meaningful conversations about how journal club went... and about her ballet friend... and uh, you know, drama?

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Fandral: Have you not even kissed her?

Thor: We almost clasped hands once, but then she got embarrassed.

Sif: Well aren't you pleased as mead.

Thor: I know not what you're speak.

Fandral: So what is her name?

Thor: Jane Foster. She is a human.

Hogun: Wicked....

Volstagg: So when do we meet this maiden fair?

Sif (drily): Oh please let it be soon.

VFX shot, EXTERIOR: THE BIFROST opens. HEIMDALL dabs at a nosebleed.

Thor (perks up): THAT'S FOR ME!

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