Narrator: Not so long ago, in the mysterious land of New Mexico, Thor was dating a mere mortal....
INTERIOR: ASGARD PALACE
Sif: Thor is dating a mere mortal?
Fandral: Really? Is she hot?
Sif: How old are you now, Thor? Like eight thousand?
Thor: Two. I'm two thousand.
Volstagg: And you're dating a mere mortal? Not bad, not bad.
Thor: Thank you, thank you.
Hogun: So, did you guys, like, "do it" yet?
Thor: We have done many things. We ride the van together and we have meaningful conversations about how journal club went... and about her ballet friend... and uh, you know, drama?
Fandral: Have you not even kissed her?
Thor: We almost clasped hands once, but then she got embarrassed.
Sif: Well aren't you pleased as mead.
Thor: I know not what you're speak.
Fandral: So what is her name?
Thor: Jane Foster. She is a human.
Volstagg: So when do we meet this maiden fair?
Sif (drily): Oh please let it be soon.
VFX shot, EXTERIOR: THE BIFROST opens. HEIMDALL dabs at a nosebleed.
Thor (perks up): THAT'S FOR ME!