Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

So, my issues with the trailer I saw for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles this morning:

1.) The Shredder is a white guy in this movie. Now while I don't have a problem with changing someone's race, like, say the Human Torch is in the upcoming Fantastic Four movie (because there's nothing that intrinsically ties the character to BEING white,) I DO have a problem with doing that to Shredder, as being a dishonored ninja from Japan was kind of the entire POINT of the Shredder's character.

2.) The turtles themselves are about eight feet tall. Me no likey. The turtles have always been portrayed as between four and five feet tall. I'm not saying that you can't make cosmetic changes to them, that's fine, update their look if you want, but they shouldn't be hulking monsters. How are you going to ninja vanish into a manhole your thigh can't even fit through?


3.) Even though Michael Bay is just producing, not directing this, his stink is all over it. Swap out the turtles for Transformers and I can't tell the trailers apart. That is a bad thing.

4.) The turtles were created by Eastman and Laird to be a spoof of the grim and gritty comics of the day, specifically the character Daredevil from the early 80s, when he was being written by Frank Miller. They were a spoof in every sense of the word; if you take that concept seriously think it's supposed to be played straight, you have completely missed the point.

Having said that, I don't plan on going to see this. I have been watching TMNT my entire life; they're my oldest "favorite thing"... but this just doesn't appeal to me. At all.Now, note that this does not, in any way, "ruin my childhood". I choose to ignore this movie. It doesn't have to retroactively mess up my enjoyment of everything that came before it.

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