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True Blood is so bad this year, guys


Illustration for article titled True Blood is so bad this year, guys

Like, it's not even campy bad now. It's just awful.

Every minor character you like? They're dying or dead. Today we said goodbye to Hoyt's mom and Alcide. Please, everybody weep for Alcide and his marvelous abs. Also, Eric is dying. But not even fun dying. Dying in a way that literally takes all the life and spirit out of the character.


Every minor character that's new or you don't like? We'll be spending endless time with them. Like Wylla, the baby vampire former governor's daughter who has a ten minute conversation with Lettie Mae's minister husband.

Oh, and there's only about ten minutes of plot per episode. So we will make sure to spend as much time as possible in barely-thematically-related flashbacks, which hold no entertainment value in and of themselves, and mostly serve as sad reminders that these characters could once be fun. (Hi Nan, spunky Pam, sexy Eric! Oh, I'm sad now.)


Oh, and please, let us rekindle the Bill/Sookie romance. Because Bill has "no relation" to the vampire he was earlier, due to a blood transfusion mumbo jumbo, so now it's not creepy or weird anymore or something.

Oh! And we also got confirmation from Pam that Tara did indeed die the true death, off screen, in the first five minutes of the season premiere. And, I'm on the record that I didn't like Tara, but even I still think that's a completely crappy end to a major character that's had a featured story line for six seasons. That must have been a huge slap in the face to the actress, and I feel really bad for her.



Sigh. We'll always have the craziness of seasons 1-3.

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