Satan Claus

Satan Claus, shortly after devouring the"snack" left for him.

"If I knew where all the naughty boys lived, I'd bloody well be jolly too!"~ Oscar Wilde on Satan Claus

"I thought I killed that evil bastard!"~ John Constantine on Satan Claus

"Like, Santa Man, I mean like Satan Man,you like, so up there man, in that "North Pole" of yours, you seem kinda high, man, like far out, man, far out"~ Stoner Santa on Santa Clause


Satan Claus (neΓ© Schickelgruber), also known as Krampus, is the patron saint of greedy department store owners and bratty spoiled li'l rich kids. Unlike St. Nicholas, whose mission was to ensure that the poor would not have to go without at Christmas, Satan Claus caters to the spoiled rich who always want more, more, more. Satan Claus has also been known to ensnare unsuspecting dyslexics looking for Santa.


Unlike his good brother, Satan Claus works every Christmors (Latin: mors, 'death') or XXX-Mas (December 23 to December 26), which celebrates the death of Jesus. The festival beginning on December 23 (called the Badnight) involves placing a Plastic Jesus Replica inside a bomb (counterpart of the "Traditional" Christmas tree) decorated with explosives (e.g. TNT, Nitro, C4) Which explodes on the final day (Dec. 26) and destroys all traces of the Christmas Celebration.


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