“The Gift”. Unsullied Eyes is a discussion space for Game of Thrones viewers who have not read the books. Be warned that there are spoilers for the latest Game of Thrones episode after the jump. The purpose of this discussion space is so that we can talk about the show as is. Book readers are welcome, but please refrain from making comparisons, hints, or spoilers.

Welcome back to consensual sex in Game of Thrones! And also to sexpositions and gratuitous boobs. My gripe with this season so far was the show’s refusal to show any small victories for the viewer, making each new episode more and more frustrating to watch. “The Gift” does a lot to address that problem. A loooot of things happen in this episode.

  • Let’s start with what’s happened with the aftermath of last week’s events. A considerable amount of time had passed since then, and Sansa has been bruised from Ramsay’s repeated abuse.
  • Sansa learns that she has no ally in the castle in the harshest way possible. She is, however, not planning to sit idly by, using her wit to poke at the doubt in Ramsay’s mind and also grabbing something to shank him with later.
  • At the Wall, Maester Aemon’s watch has ended. I guess Sam slouches into his position. Or does the Citadel send another Maester to replace Aemon?
  • Gilly and Sam have sexy time together after they fight off would-be rapists in a castle full of rapists and thieves.
  • Meanwhile, things don’t look good for Stannis as the merciless cold takes a toll on his army. Melisandre also confirms what I had been dreading ever since Shireen was introduced. The priestess needs a bucket full of king’s blood. Stannis’ unwillingness to sacrifice his daughter — and who would follow a king who sacrifices his daughter for power? — will no doubt cause the ruin of his house. Either that or Shireen’s crazy mom will do something crazy.
  • In Meereen, Daenerys also has some sexy — but a bit tragic — time with her beardy lover. She also spends some non-sexy time with her beardy fiance, which is good because Tyrion finally gets to Daenerys. If the show wants to keep me happy, Varys will soon arrive at Meereen in next week’s episode, making Jorah’s misguided plan look even more foolish.
  • In Dorne, we have a fake-out with Bronn getting poisoned. We also get a super-gratuitous boob shots, which made me uncomfortable because I was under the impression that Tyene was the youngest of the Sand Snake trio, and she looks very very young. The Sand Snakes are hyper-ridiculous in a show that’s overflowing with ridiculous characters.
  • In King’s Landing, Cersei finally gets her just desserts, although I’m not sure if the Faith Militant will be anything but just. But first, we’re also treated to Lady Olenna trading barbs with the High Sparrow and the Mockingbird. Then as a bonus, we get to see Margaery bare her fangs at Cersei too. It was no surprise that Faith Militant would go after Cersei, really. There no way born-again Lancel was going to let their illicit, incestual relationship slide.


Quote of the night:

“For me, it’s the knees. You?”


Both Lady Olenna and the High Sparrow are both too old for this shit.