I just got the weirdest spam from this guy on Kinja offering to make me rich and famous if I join the Illuminati. I don't even have to be full member! I just need to talk it over with someone at my nearest Illuminati branch. Of all the spam I've seen on Kinja, Thompson09's is the most interesting. He peddles cures for HIV, heart disease, and fertility problems. He even knows a top notch spellcaster who will transform that streak of shitty luck you've been having into pure win.

But seriously, how awesome would Wayne's business card be? I really feel like emailing him. Being rich and famous would be pretty swell and it's the Illuminati, so you know their parties are going to be awesome.