Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

All New X-Men #31 Heads Back Into Trouble! (Spoilers)

Well, after last month's lull in the action, events pick up again. We're not in full-fledged disaster mode... yet. That's good. Let's dive in, shall we? (Spoilers follow.)

In a research lab in the Ultimate Universe (#1610), Tony Stark is negotiating terms with the pre-pubescant Dr. Cho, who's developed the technology to open portals between dimensions. The tech is in its infancy— Cho can't control where it goes, how to see on the other side, none of that. All he's confirmed is that it works... Just in time for said portal to pop and wink out of existence. Cho is distraught, he's lost his (quite young) life's work. Stark has a more open mind, not leaping to conclusions. Still. Whatever just happened, it probably wasn't good.


In Universe 616, home of our ever lovin' All-New X-Men, several senior members just vanished, courtesy of Magik. They're off to hear the last Will and Testament of Prof. Xavier. They're gonna be busy for a while.

Angel and Laura (X-23) return from date night, as Bobby presses Warren for details. Chivalrous, he declines. Jean Grey talks to Laura, she understands that Laura's hesitant to open up to a legitimately great guy like Warren. (Having a psychic on your team has its perks, they'll understand whatever you're going through.) I'll be frank, the teen dating stuff is not my cup of tea, but it is good to see the chromo-stranded X-Men forming new ties and relationships.

Past!Hank is tinkering with Cerebro, when a ball of light resembling the portal almost overloads the whole thing. Hank determines that it's a mutant who needs help, and he's right. In Austin, TX, a school marching band poses for their class photo, when a girl named Carmen... kind of explodes.


Carmen has flashes of other dimensions (like Asgard), before she falls on her keister and notices that the X-Men have arrived. They try to keep her calm as they sort out what's happening, but a) the girl doesn't appreciate being mentally sedated by Jean, b) Hank has never encountered a power like hers before, and c) his bedside manner kinda sucks.

What's every bit as fascinating as her initial outburst, is that a teacher shouts "Everyone! Remember your mutant sighting emergency procedure training!" as they back away from the glowing girl. What the hell does that mean? They give her a wide berth— a good idea— but otherwise there's no clue as to whether this is seen as a positive or a negative... until police cars show up. Lots of them.


Carmen panics, and her eyes go all glowy. (That's never good.) A flash of S-shaped portal later, and Bobby arrives somewhere underground with a Mole Man. It's unclear whether it's our Mole Man, or some other dimension's Mole Man. (It's fun to type 'Mole Man'.)


And then there's Jean Grey, who materializes in midtown Manhattan. In dimension #1610. Face to face with Miles Morales, the Ultimate Spider-Man. Oh dear.

So! Our heroes are cast far and wide, across space rather than time, this time. Wacky hijinks are about to ensue. My guess is that the s-shape of the portal will lead to Carmen taking an 'S' name, like Slipstream or something similar. Any bets? Any takers?


Be back here in a month and we'll see what shakes out!

Share This Story