Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Illustration for article titled Wes Craven to adapt 2 new series for SyFy

Is it possible to pump your fist and bite your nails at the same time? Wes Craven has just announced that he will be developing two new TV series for SyFy as part of a plan to introduce more horror into their lineup, starting with an adaptation of Daryl Gregory’s 2014 Nebula Award nominated We Are All Completely Fine, for which he will be both writing and directing the pilot, followed by a reboot of his own 1991 film, The People Under The Stairs. (though quite how that will work is serial form is anyone’s guess. Maybe it’s an anthology series where a new set of burglars get murdered and cannibalized each week?)

Personally, I’m most excited for We Are All Completely Fine. It was one of my favorite books of last year, and I knew from the moment I heard the premise that it would make an absolutely brilliant TV series. Assuming they don’t take any major liberties with the source material (the novella is only 192 pages long, but has more than enough going on to flesh out an entire season), we will hopefully be seeing a very Whedonesque Cabin in the Woods style take on modern horror tropes as five survivors, make that sole survivors, of supernatural catastrophe or violence are brought together by an enigmatic psychologist to form a support group for their particularly unique forms of trauma. Rather than using the support group as a framing device to tell five separate horror stories ala Dr. Terror’s House of Horror or Vault of Horror, the characters slowly begin to relay elements of their past, while also learn that they have more in common with each other than they initially thought, and that evil takes many forms.


As for the support group itself, we’ve got:

Harrison, the boy hero of Dunsmouth, and monster detective, now in his 30’s and addicted to prescription pain killers, who has been plagued by eldrich horrors his entire life and has the sucker marks on his leg to prove it.

Stan, the quadruple amputee, once a minor celebrity in the 70’s after being partially eaten by the cannibalistic Weaver family. Mainly pissed off that nobody remembers him any more.

Barbara, the former cheerleader turned suburban housewife who is still haunted by the prophetic messages carved into her bones by the infamous Skrimshander killer.

Martin, the shifty paranoid, who never takes off his high-tech VR sunglasses, because they’re the only way he can see Them moving amongst us.


And Greta, the youngest of the group, whose scars are (literally) still fresh, and may or may not be a mass-murdering arsonist pursued by a powerful cult.

They’ve got the premise and one hell of a start. Theoretically, there should be no way they can fuck this up, but then again, I would have said the the same thing about the people who made League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Also, let’s remember that this is SyFy we’re talking about here. Even their name says “poor executive decisions,” though hopefully this will be one of those rare exceptions to the rule.

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