Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks

What Genre Thing Is OVER?

Look, I'm not all that young anymore. I'm not "hip," I'm not "with it," as the kids say, I don't know what's "cool" or "happening" or "far out." But I do have a sixth sense for recognizing when certain things have fallen out of favor.

For example, the Twilight. There was a time, not too long ago, that the teen sensation about obsessive supernatural stalkers was everywhere. Even if you weren't remotely a fan, you couldn't fail to notice the spectacle of adolescent girls and their moms swooning over Cosmopolis's undying love for Joan Jett. Seemingly everywhere you went, there were piles of books, DVDs, keychains, and action figures lying around, like the whole world had turned into the space next to the escalators at Barnes and Noble. Fans would go to midnight premieres to watch celibate vampires and shirtless werewolves (and Bigfoots? I think there were Bigfoots too) stare longingly at each other and play baseball. It was a golden age for people who enjoyed that sort of thing.


But then, just as suddenly, the sparkly vampire belle époque was finished. Nobody seemed to give a crap about Aeropostale-clad syphilis metaphors anymore. Even Stephenie Meyer, the mastermind behind the saga, confessed that she was "so over it." This was before The Host failed to kick off a similar boom in abstinence porn alien invasion movies, so maybe she's since changed her tune. But even if Meyer does return to writing stories about creepy older guys who spend their time hanging around high school parking lots, it's likely that all but her most devoted fans will have moved on to books that contain some actual sex, even if it's just Fifty Shades of Grey. Twilight, in other words, is OVER.

The thing about being over is that even seemingly popular, commercially viable stuff can be on its way out. The Star Trek reboot, which already feels long in the tooth despite consisting of only two movies, is almost certainly over. Ditto the Amazing Spider-Man "franchise" at Sony; sure, people turned up on ASM2's opening weekend, and it earned what would be, by any standard, an impressive amount of money, but it's not like anybody cared about it. Globalization makes it harder to determine how over some things are; Tr4nsformers (or was it Transf4rmers? And is the whole "using numbers as letters in movie titles" still a thing?) underperformed in the US, but was hugely successful in Asia, where moviegoers are only now learning to hate Michael Bay, who may yet end up being the Sixto Rodriguez of shitty action cinema. Also, the long turnaround between franchise installments means some things on the horizon feel like they're over before they've even begun, like the Universal Monsters Franchise That Isn't About Horror or the next six Avatars. And certain things have outlived the creators with which they were once inextricably attached, even if the person in question is still alive; Star Wars is back, but George Lucas is over, reduced to producing horrible CGI children's films of the kind you see in the impulse bin at Walgreen's. Clearly he is approaching the "penniless and insane, trying to play a phonograph record with a peanut shell" phase of his career, as was foretold in The Journal of the Whills long ago.

So what genre thing — franchise, creator, subcategory, etc. — in your opinion, is OVER? (Please don't say Underworld. Len Wiseman is a friggin' GENIUS, you guys.)

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