1. Not only are you people the most intelligent and witty people I've ever had the pleasure and honor to associate with, the men are all handsome and the women are all hot.

2. I cheated by posting 20-year-old pics. Now I look like Walter White on a bad day.

3. It really makes me feel closer to you all.

Thank you to everyone for participating!

Some day I'll tell you all who I really am.

But not today.