... the Woot gets weird.

Random thoughts that have passed through my head in the last six hours:

Clonemance: the sci-fi genre's answer to the popularity of paranormal romance. Can't pick between a vampire and a werewolf? Try picking between two versions of the same guy.

The Woot Gospel: And on the Eighth Day, having been Bored on the Seventh Day, God created the Internet; which, being a series of Tubes with Cats In, would deliver Amusement unto Heaven; and which, being Known Yet Unavailable to the Occupants of Hell, would Increase their Torment. So great was the Creation, the Internet, that God decided Early Access would Stunt Human Development; therefore, they would have to Capture It Themselves before being able to Reap the Heavenly Bounty.

Are there people who keep track of how many Internets they've won? Are there people who keep track of how many Internets other people have won? Is there a whole automated scoreboard on an external hard drive somewhere, forgotten by its creator, plugging away at judging us all? And lo, when the Last Post is Made, Judgement Day shall Come, when the Worth of All Men shall be Decided from their Post History; and it has been Decreed that the Asshats shall Fall through the Earth and be tortured in Hell; and likewise it has been Decreed that the Witty and the Amusing shall be lifted up unto Heaven to Taste the Pure Datastream. For the Worth of All Men may be found by the Number of Their Internets. Amen.