Half time, if you were watching on BBC One, Gary Linekar broke from an explanation of handball rules to tell a knock-knock joke. Alan Shearer gamely played along. Which was the cue for a sparkly trailer.

Somebody is pinching Ryan’s soldiers. Fried bread I think. Do we know that greasy spoon? Yasmin suddenly has a pizza to herself. Graham is in the chippy waiting for a bit of haddock and finds his paper swapped for a Beano Summer Special. The same copy the Eleventh Doctor was reading a few centuries ago.

Then our lass from the north materialises ...