Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
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Why must you turn my supermarket into a house of lies?

Illustration for article titled Why must you turn my supermarket into a house of lies?

They were sampling vodka at the market and the woman pouring was trying to sell it as "lower calorie." This perplexed me. Vodka is water, which has no calories, and ethyl alcohol, which has 4 calories per gram, like any carbohydrate. That's 3.2 cal/ml given ethanol's specific gravity of 0.8. It's not like you can substitute Nutrasweet for the sugar or applesauce for the fat. There is no sugar or fat. So I asked her how it could be low calorie? She tried to sell me some line of crap about organic grains blah, blah, blah. While she was talking, I looked at the bottle. It was only 70 proof. So yeah, if it is 35% carbohydrate and 65% inert ingredients, it will have fewer calories than a bottle that is 40% carbohydrates and 60% inert ingredients. I asked her about that and she mumbled something while I walked away.


By the way, most beers and spirits don't count the alcohol content as a "carb" for marketing purposes. I don't know how they get away with that. It sure as hell isn't a protein or a fat.

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