Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Miscalibrated Internet Receptor Stalks
Illustration for article titled Wolverine #9 Masters The Art of Subtlety, Chats With DEATH

All right. Let's just push through this, shall we? The next 'Event Comic' on the horizon is the Death of Wolverine. Three Months to Die, as it's known right now, picks up with Logan in Japan, in the 'Temple of Death on Holiday'. This is, apparently, a thing. Lo and behold, the incarnation of Death arrives for a tête-a-crâne with our boy Logan. (Spoilers below, I guess.)

She's in a particularly smug mood, trading bon mots and bringing him an absurd 'This Is Your Life!' segment, while outside, Iron Fist and Shang-Chi (The Master of Kung Fu) trade blows with the Hand.

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Meanwhile, Sabretooth (in a suit?!) toys with Pinch in exchange for begging for her life. Sabretooth is and always shall be kind of a dick.

Back in Death's own boudoir, the big D continues to mock Wolverine for being afraid of her now— y'know, like most people— and introduces him to the specter of Rose, his first love (as seen in Origin— the comic, not the disaster movie). She forgives him for accidentally killing her. More fighting happens, before Death tells Wolverine to be brave— something he was already doing— and she'll see him soon.

Illustration for article titled Wolverine #9 Masters The Art of Subtlety, Chats With DEATH

As wastes of time go, Wolverine #9 is a good contender for the month of June. Nothing much happens, Death congratulates herself on her plan, or something, while managing to be completely obnoxious. (When it comes to the Grim Reaper, I'll take THE TERRY PRATCHETT VERSION any day.)

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Sabretooth is acting completely out of character; what with the standing upright, making actual plans, tolerating other people's ability to speak, wearing a suit, and so on. This is all part of a larger arc I know nothing about. Morbid curiosity bade me pick up this issue, and, well, it is decidedly meh.

Three months from now, Wolverine is going to die, for however long that will last, and then he'll be back. There is no surprise here, no suspense, no anticipation. This is the first time I can recall getting bored with a comic book character's death long before it actually happens.

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The next chapter will be titled 'The Last Wolverine Story', if you can buy it. I probably won't. What do you think?

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